It’s unpleasant to be a beginner in art

The hardest part of learning something new is the realisation: I’m bad at this… and everyone else seems amazing. And for me, it happened to be a blocker in learning.

Right now, I’m learning a new skill (digital drawing with Procreate), and it doesn’t feel pleasant. I don’t like being incompetent at something and admitting it, even to myself. The worst part is seeing how easily others do what I’m struggling with. But I figured out a way of overcoming this negative feeling in learning, at least the way that works for me.

When I was a beginner in art years ago, it felt different

Eight years ago, I started sketching as a complete newbie. I didn’t know where to begin, what tools to buy, or what style I liked. Everything was unknown — and that was actually exciting. Back then, I didn’t have a goal to become “professional.” I wasn’t trying to prove anything. I drew for myself. My sketches were clumsy and ugly, and I enjoyed them anyway, because the point wasn’t to impress anyone. The point was to explore and try myself in something new.

Now I’m a beginner again, but with the pressure attached

These days, I’m learning digital art in Procreate, and I’m back in the same place: not knowing where to start (tons of digital brushes, layering tricks, etc.). But this time, I’ve attached a different meaning to it. I want this skill to become part of my career. And that changes everything. I see thousands of other artists who started digital art ages ago, who are fluent in digital art, create amazing out-of-this-world drawings, and have thousands of people appreciating their work. So learning became less of curiosity and more pressure.

I want to learn fast because part of me already wants appreciation and to “show the world my beautiful creations.” And that’s where the uncomfortable feelings come in. Because my current skill level doesn’t match the picture in my head.

And eventually, I started avoiding to learn and even opening Procreate. Because avoiding is easier than sitting in that lost, unknown space, being demotivated by others’ amazing art.

So… what I noticed about learning: the expectation is the weight!!!! It’s much easier to learn when expectations are low, and curiosity is higher than the desire to show results. And I truly believe the “show results” mindset can kill not only learning, but creativity itself.

Recently, I read "The Creative Act " by Rick Rubin, where he talks about how the state of play keeps an artist alive creatively and makes their work unique. And I can see it in my own journey: the moment I focus too much on the outcome (people’s feedback, Instagram likes, being a “good” artist) — I lose the play. And when play disappears, my work becomes average, because I get tighter, more careful, and more performative.

What worked for me

I started exploring what can possibly help me to proceed and succeed in learning — “How do I keep learning when my brain avoids it?” Two things that help me move forward:

1) I switch my mindset from “proving I am good” to “experimenting with what will happen”

Basically, I do the same learning practices that make me feel unsure and incompetent, but I change the internal attitude. For instance, I started asking myself:

• What will happen if I try this texture?

• How will I feel if I try this or that?

• What can I change to make this ugly thing a bit better?

This sounds small, but it shifts the experience from expectation to exploration. And I’m not going to lie — it doesn’t work every time. Sometimes I scroll Instagram, see someone’s incredible digital art, and immediately feel ashamed of my misery as an artist. But even then, this mindset helps me return to the work instead of avoiding it.

2) I keep my beginner work private

I stopped showing my digital art to people while I’m learning. I do not want any comments, critiques, opinions, or any evaluation (both good or negative). I want to make this learning practice completely detached from the results. Sometimes I like what I created, sometimes I just delete the file, so I don't have to see it again. The key is: the process belongs to me - which makes it a PRACTICE, not a RESULT. I do enjoy experimenting, and "play comes more naturally to me, when I do not have the pressure to show my work to someone. And if I am not showing, I am less focuse don comparing. And this change makes it a bit easier for me to stay in the learning process long enough to improve my skills.

If you’re starting something new

If you’re a beginner right now and you feel uncomfortable, just know that we all have been there. That not pleasant feeling of the unknown is part of learning — especially when you care about what you’re doing.

Try to protect the “play” part of your practice. Lower the pressure to perform. Stay curious longer than you stay judgmental.

*If you are a beginner in art and if you need permission to be “not the best in what you are doing” for a while, here it is. (at least I really needed one) For more blog posts and upcoming projects, join my MAILING LIST